Irish Cake Bombs

Beth’s Irish Cake Bombs

3/4 cup soy milk

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

generous 1/4 cup dark beer, Irish Stout, black gold.

3/4 cup sugar

1/3 cup canola oil

generous 1 tspn vanilla

generous 1 cup flour

1/3 cup coco powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/8 pinch salt

Also:

some Bailey’s Irish Cream liquor

some heavy whipping cream

some powdered sugar

tasteful number of drops of green food coloring

green sprinkles

These cupcakes are vegan without the frosting. Ask your vegan pals which dark beers they’re willing to eat in cupcake form. This will not only allow you to judge their vegan persnicketyness on a scale, but also teach you about vegan beers for future conversational use.

Preheat the oven to 350.

Whisk the vinegar and the soymilk together. After that, add all other wet ingredients and whisk again until frothy. When deciding how much beer to add to this recipe, take all things into account. Who’s really just in this for the chocolate? Who’s afraid of extra liquid in the recipe? How much can you reasonably expect cupcakes to taste just like beer?

Add your sugar. Ask for another lecture on vegan sugar. Informative and handy for impressing the ladies of every gender.

Sift in the dry ingredients.

Beat the whole mixture with an electric beater for a couple of min until fluffy and you are satisfied with the taste of the batter. Would chocolate chips be good in there? They might.

Pour the batter into your cupcake pans. If you made the batter extra liquidy, make the cakes smaller and check them (not too early! but) a little bit earlier than the full cooking time. Drippy batters don’t dome as well, and can’t get as big. Little cups of dense, chocolaty beer wouldn’t be so bad, though.

Bake 20 or 22 min.

Let them cool an annoyingly long time before frosting.

The Frosting:

Slosh a satisfying amount of heavy whipping cream into a bowl. Whip it. Yes, good. Add not too much powdered sugar, whip again. Sing it until somebody notices. Add less Bailey’s than you did whipping cream, but enough that everybody will taste it. The less you add, the thicker your frosting is going to be, which is never very thick with whipping cream. Add just a smidge of green food coloring to be enticingly wallflowery or a bunch to be brutish with your beer cakes. A nice touch would be to be that person who has green sprinkles on hand. The crystallized sugar kind to be dainty fresh or the matte, pure sugar kind to embolden your substantial, almost German offerings. Plop or spread the frosting on in your own manner.

Please note: Not all Irish are drunks.

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